Thursday, June 5, 2014


This was the first picture Brendan and myself ever took together!

It was March 7, 2012 and it was my 21st birthday. Only two of my other girlfriends were 21 so I invited Brendan out with us to dinner then drinks afterwards. We had been dating for about 4 months at that point, but I was extremely nervous to have him there with me. 

Talk about butterflies in my stomach all night! 

I feel as though once you invite the person you are somewhat dating out with your friends, or to a family party, you're pretty much silently screaming

                                      I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! 

I was falling hard for him. We had been dating 4 months. I had met his parents and friends. I had gone out with him and his friends. I opened myself up to him and became vulnerable. He was (and still is) wonderful. I was ready to take the next step.

And sometimes, because I am so nice, I tend to accept and trust everyone too easily. I end up misinterpreting other people intentions or I get completely taken advantage of.  Then, I'm left with feeling let down and hurt. 

Back in high school, me and Brendan briefly dated for maybe 3 months. It was never anything serious and being a naive 17 year old girl, I misjudged his actions and what he wanted. He wasn't as serious as I was. I started to develop feelings but he didn't feel the same way. A few days before I had planned to tell him exactly how I felt he told me he was interested in someone else.

But that's okay!

I'm glad it didn't work out between us back then. I was an unstable lunatic who had never had a real relationship so I know for a fact I would not have been able to handle Brendan. Plus, now that I've gone through some rough patches in my life and I know what I want and I can appreciate him and everything he is and does whole-heartedly.

It's funny how you meet someone, exchange numbers and quickly start to develop feelings for them. You can't wait for the next date, the next opportunity to dress up, hold their hand and get intense butterflies.

With more butterflies comes more anxiety; Am I what he wants? Does he actually like me? Is he only trying to get into my pants? How long will we date until he asks me to be his girlfriend? Should I actually tell him how I feel, or will that freak him out?

Should I wait for him to tell me first?

First time around did not go so well, but this time, he made up for it. He apologized for the past, admitted his wrongs and told me how much I meant to him.

About a week after my birthday Brendan asked me to be his girlfriend. I am so grateful for that day. And, I can tell you with the biggest smile on my face, two years later I still get butterflies in my stomach and in my throat every time I see him.

Love is out there for everyone, you just can't go looking for it.
It needs to find you.
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Until next time,
Ines xoxo